Monday, June 28, 2010as chronicled by
I remember the time when I view life [and love] as blue skies and all butterflies. That was before the little monsters took away my innocence. Now, I've grown to become the world's topmost pessimist, the world's most skilled liar and the greatest pretender that ever lived.
Pessimism, as negative sounding though it might appear, has become both a target of criticism and a blanket of comfort of mine. It fends off the chances of me getting hurt. if not all, at least most of them. With pessimism, I always expect for the worst. I always wait for failure and doom. And so when things turned out positively, am all glad and thankful. If not, then it's fine. It is what I expected anyway.
I lie. I always lie. and as I've said previously, I'm very good at it. I can muster a long and arduous story about something, with every minutest detail of it, and the person listening would totally buy it without thinking. This, one of the seven capital sins, I abuse most. And again, the one I am best at!
Being a liar is hard. You always have to remain sharp and calm, especially on times that you're caught red-handed. And brave if there's no way you can get out of the mess you've got into. to come out of it and still with your head held high, it doesn't take a lot of time for me, mastering the skill. I was born with the talent.
Brother to lying is pretending. It is what comes next if you're good at lying. Becoming the greatest pretender. It's like I have this walk in closet of different masks I wear depending on the occasion. Maybe that's why I'm good at acting. Know what? Modesty aside, I think am better than them screen and theater actors. To them, its just a job. Their hobby or some pseudo-artist may claim it as their passion. But to me, it is my way of life. It is how I live my life, taking in different persona. Pretending.
When the time comes for me to meet Satan, you'd probably expect him to congratulate me. Or give some certificate of recognition or probably a crown with sash.
I actually met him a while ago. Yeah, the one and only Satan.
And this is what happened.
I was walking a narrow road going to a friend's house at 2 o' clock on the afternoon when all of a sudden, Satan appeared out of nowhere and greeted me. I was like, what the hell Satan? Do you know what time it is?
I was shocked, not only because he appeared out of nowhere but also because it is afternoon and the sun was still up.
i thought you only come out during night?, i fired the question.
but the most shocking of all, is that he totally ignored what i was saying. he walked straight in front me and guess what he did?
The son of a bitch slapped me on my face! pak!
I was speechless. I didn't know what to do. I don't know what's more shocking, the fact that I was slapped on my face or the fact that Satan himself slapped me.
As I gaze at his hooded face. with mouth wide open, he started ranting on me.
"Who the hell do you think you are Desole Boy? What the fuck do you think yah doin'? Yah think yah're better than meh, huh? Who the devil yah are tryin' to compete with? Well here's a thang motherfucker..yah ain't somethin'....yah ain't someone and yow just a fake brown assed monkey tryin' to be cool. Yah're burned, d'ya know that? [this time, he pushed me on the chest] Yah're burned! Dy'yah get that? Am warnin' you Desole Boy. I don't give a goddamn fuck who y'are! But if yah aint stoppin,' I'll whip yah grandmother's ass and she aint gonna love it man. She ain't gonna love it! Mah eyes are on you, fucker! Mah eyes are on you!"
And before I could summon the courage to retaliate and probably kick his balls, he's gone. The devil is gone.
There I was, at the middle of that narrow road at 2 in the afternoon, standing still. Confused. Ashamed. Afraid. Totally at lost.
As the encounter with Satan begun sinking in, I felt anger. With whom? I didn't know. And just exactly at that moment when I was trying to contemplate on whom to get angry with, Jesus appeared out of nowhere like Satan did.
And before Jesus could say anything, I yelled at him.
This time, all of a sudden, the sky went all dark and thunder started roaring. rain pounded on my head with such increasing tempo.
"What the hell Jesus? Do you also came here to slap me in the face? Just leave me alone! Both of you! Go away!
And with that, I ran away crying and left Jesus at the middle of that narrow road, mouth open and very confuse, soaking under the rain...
"I cannot well repeat how there I entered,
So full was I of slumber at the moment
In which I had abandoned the true way. "
-Canto I, The Divine Comedy - Inferno
by Dante Alighieri
at exactly 4:12 PM