Bes: Kala ko ba ‘di ka na nag-iisip tungkol sa mga ganyan.
Me: Paminsan-minsan. Lalo pag nasa bus.
Bes: In almost 6 years na magkakaibigan tayo isa lang naman ang may lovelife sa ‘ten.
Me: Yeah right, si Coco. Ever since naman eh.
Bes: Maybe we’re too good for them.
Me: Or not! Bullshit!
Me: It’s just hard that I wasn’t just rejected. He didn’t allow me to show him how much I care for him…or yeah, how much I love him. God, I f*ckin hate that word.
Bes: But what would you want him to do? Sige nga…
Bes: You know sometimes I think you’re just in love with the idea of being in love.
Me: And you thought of that because?
Bes: Because you’re one of the few persons I know who’s very independent. Gusto mo hawak mo lahat. Tsaka pag tinoyo ka, grabe pagka anti-social mo eh. Bigla ka na lang namumundok.
Me: Well maybe that’s why for once in my life I want someone to actually care and bother. Gusto ko na ma-experience magkajowa.
Bes: See? It’s just one of the many ideas and things you wanna try for yourself, like sleeping in a side-walk, maging barker ng jeep, maging cashier sa grocery…yung mga ganun mong idea. And you know what else I’m thinking? Tignan mo, puro yung nagugustuhan mo yung imposibleng magkagusto sa ‘yo…
Me: Tang ina gandahan mo yang sinasabi mo kundi ihahampas ko sa ‘yo ‘tong bote ng Red Horse. At bakit imposible nila ‘kong magustuhan?
Bes: Makinig ka kasi muna. Sabi ko. Parang you always want yourself hurting by the end. Gustong-gusto mong nasasaktan ka. Masokista ka Bes, alam mo yan. Sabagay lahat naman ng artist masokista. Dun kasi tayo humuhugot ng inspirasyon. I should know.
Me: Ulol! ‘Lam mo nagagaya ka na sa ‘ken. Masyadong ini-intellectualize ang mga bagay. Pero naisip mo naman siguro na 23 years old na tayo. Next year 24 na. Tanda na naten. Gusto mo bang mamatay tayo ng virgin?
Me: Look, ikaw na lang at si Trish ang mga virgin sa girls. Ang putang Ralph naman nagpatira noong Undas. 'Tang ina, yung pwet nya ang tinirikan ng kandila. Hahaha,
Bes: The time for us will come, are you praying for it?
Bes: See? You’re too busy trying to save the world. Hindi lang kasi isang “jowa” ang nangangailangan sa ‘yo Bes. Maraming tao. Marami.
Me: Bes nakakapagod. What if ‘di na dumating. What if walang dumating for us?
Bes: Then we’ll be fine. We’ll be fine Bes.
Bes: Merry Christmas Bes.
Me: Merry Christmas Bes.
[It was the first time we cried in front of each other not for the reason that we’re fighting. We never talked about each other’s feelings. We never talked about our problems and the things that bother us. Usually, we’ll just sit side by side in silence and that’s it! Alam na namin pareho yun.
I did my best recalling the exact words we used and I think I did a pretty good job. I miss her so much and we rarely see each other now because of our respective impossible schedules.]
It’s goin’ to be a merry Christmas. It’s always a merry Christmas!
|DBoy and his Bestfriend|