Monday, November 21, 2011

It will be better than before



And then I felt sad because I realised that once people are broken in certain
ways, they can't ever be fixed & this is something nobody ever tells you when
you are young & it never fails to surprise you as you grow older, as you see
the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going
to be, or if it's already happened. -Douglas Coupland
Jokes are often my thing – save for life’s cruel jokes. They’re never easy and often they come unexpected. Take for example what I always say. I’m too lazy to write so I declined to take journalism yet now, I make my living through writing. Not to mention having this blog, which, by the way, brings me to my next point. 

I was actually thinking of easing out my exit here in blogging lately. You know when you feel that you’ve already outgrown something? That’s how I feel as I stare at my blog, at this person called Désolé Boy which I incarnated more than a year ago. I was thinking it probably is the right time to make the curtain fall on Désolé Boy’s stage, take the final bow and leave quietly. 

There could’ve been regrets on my venture here, what with the many terrible life jokes I was thrown with and a few destruction that almost brawl me. But when I think of the few accomplishments, like that one surprise from international best seller novelist Jonathan Carroll corresponding through this blog, the e-mails and short messages I get saying they learn things and was touched by my writings, and of course meeting my iBlogger friends, somehow, saying goodbye gets tougher. 

So allow me to thank all of you, once more, especially Bino. If you’ll notice, I already got a domain of my own right now. From here on, it’s desoleboy.com. All credits must go to this gentleman, a very generous and a very good man I had the pleasure of meeting through here. 

I was never envious of the idea that I’m the only one not sporting a dot.com address out of the bunch. I am, after all, just a small voice in this vast blogosphere compared to them. Two or three visit count and they’re enough to make me go back to the drawing board and compose my next post. I could never be as good as Mugen, or as witty as Mandaya. I couldn’t write about the high end life like Kane and got no sexperiences like Soltero. I will never be as interesting and as hot like Papa P and could never provide you a high literary read like Nyl do. Also, I remained single throughout the course of this blog so it’s the same usual frustrations and dreams and passion and craziness I always share here, unlike Alterjon. That’s why I want to thank those who stayed regardless. It’s always been my pleasure. 

But we have to cut some ropes for a better, smoother sailing. Some baggages need to be thrown and some doors must be closed. Sometimes, few goodbyes are inevitable so we could have better hellos. Often times, I know one would think I’ve said too much, but like what this song says, please know that every word is true. 

Like Jonathan Carroll, there was this time when someone asked me if my blog is addressed to anyone in particular. I found it hard to answer his query for I know his intent was malicious and he was referring to an old entanglement with a fellow blogger. So it was with great relief that I can now answer that question with conviction and dignity. 

“This blog is my love letter to someone I haven’t met yet.”




______________

Many thanks again to Bino. Also to Carlo, Leah and everyone else and all the mentioned and unmentioned people in this blog. Thank you for the inspiration. 

Thank you also to all the people who've hurt me in so many ways and in too many times. The tears you brought me are the continuous ink bleeding before my papers. May God grant mercy in all of us. 

14 reaction(s):

Bino said...

i really don't know how to react. having you as my friend is one of the best moment in my life. you and the ibloggers mean so much to me. It's really sad to read this entry.

Mugen said...

We always say, a blogger is always a blogger. See you in your next reincarnation DB. :)

KikomaxXx said...

hmmm... hahaha laking pasasalamat ko din sa iyo bilang kaibigan ko... dahil tanggap mo rin ang aking suporta na parang hindi.. hjehehe :) hanggang sa muling pagsusulat :)

Nate said...

@deebee: hi lil bro! first of all, thank you for mentioning me in twitter.. it's an honor, really, that you consider me to belong to the bunch of "special people who continue to inspire you"..

honestly, you have inspired me too.. i would want to be able to write like you, and jon, and kuya joms, and nyl.. :)

it's sad that the curtain falls for the Desole Boy (dot) com.. napaluha ako ng mga 5 drops, ganyan..

you will definitely be missed, but like what kuya joms said, see you on your next re-incarnation! :)

*bear hug*

Leah said...

HI Deebee!

Kaninang umaga ko pa nabasa tong post mo, pero wala akong maisip na maisulat. Parang bigla na lang ako nalungkot.. di ko alam kung panu ba magreact.

Siguro nga, dumarating sa buhay ng tao na kelangan talga nyang magpaalam saglit.. "A few goodbyes are inevitable so we could have better hellos" .. Sever some ties and bid adieu.

We're just here, Deebee. I'm here. Hindi man tayo nagkikita palagi, andito lang tlga ako.. just a tweet away. :)

This isn't really goodbye right? maybe... a "See you later"? :)

Hugs, hugs, hugs, hugs, hugs.. hehe. Naalala ko lang ang sinabi mo last time. I hope I made you smile.. HUGS!! :P

red the mod said...

I believe, in the end, we have to write for ourselves. For those of us who have been here in the blogging world for a while, we learn to assess those whose opinion we respect against those whose superficial and momentary passing deserves no second glances. We pickup baggage along the way, sometimes cajoled by our own insecurity and wish to please, but in the end longevity and vigilance become key indicators.

I'm glad you have found your way here, and have stayed for as long as you have. I may not always be as vocal and present, but know that your entries, especially those on social advocacy, responsibility, and the craft of writing, does not go unnoticed.

This is entry is so honest, sincere and refreshingly candid. Your parting words remind me of Rainer Maria Rilke's "You Who Never Arrived." May you remain as vigilant, outspoken, and dignified.

:)

Xander said...

sabi ko nga sa text kanina nakakalungkot na nabasa ito. Pero whatever it is I understand and support you my friend. ANdito lang kami -- iBloggers

bien said...

ahhh you will be back.of that most of us are certain.

Leomer Apolonio said...

Whatever it is that my friend wants to pursue, I support just as long as it does not put any detriment to yourself, more to your soul.

I'm just a text a way DB. Everytime you reach out to me, I consider it a favor for myself, it keeps me sane you know. :)

Mac Callister said...

bakit ka naman aalis???sad ako sa nabasa ko na to:-(

sana balik ka agad at gawa ng panibagong blog soon..

we'll miss u DB

citybuoy said...

I was gone for a few days and when I logged on, this is what I found. I am immensely saddened by your decision but I completely understand. There are times when it is absolutely necessary to rip the page off and start anew. Good luck with everything, DB. This version of you will be missed.

Kane said...

The big question is: into what form are you reincarnating yourself next? =)

DB naman, I don't write about the "high-end" life. Is that what you think of me? I'm just teasing you.

I hope your love letter reaches that someone, DB =) And I hope he writes back

Victor Saudad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mylifeisnotperfectbutiamhappy said...

wow !

 

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